Balance
by Amanda103
Summary: Nothing comes without a price. This is a lesson that Willow must learn when her mistake comes back to haunt everyone.


Title: Balance 

Author: Amanda 

Email: Saewert2cox.net 

Summery: Nothing come without a price. This is the lesson that Willow must learn as her mistake comes back to haunt everyone. 

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in the story other then the mercenary and the white robey guys. All else is property of Joss Whedon, otherwise known as God. And the song "Losing My Grip" belongs to Avril Lavine (you'll see the lyrics in chapter thriteen or fourteen, I'm not sure which.) 

Author's Note: Okay, I'd like to start by saying thanks for reading this story. I've been kicking this idea around for a while. Second, I'd like to say, this is not a happy story. Oh, and there's a surprise at the ending that involves a UC pairing, so if you don't like it, don't read it. Thanks. : ) Feedback: Fish gotta swim. Birds gotta fly. Authors gotta read feedback.  
  
- - - - - - - - -  
  
I am not supposed to be here. And yet, I am. Magic. That's why I'm here. Magic. Right now I wish there where no such word. Magic took me from the one place that I was every truely happy. And now, I am here even though I am not supposed to be.  
  
Not understanding? Well, truth be told, neither am I. The past few months have been very hard for me, and they're not getting any easier. I have learned many things in my short life, and one of them is how to lie very well. What I say is not always how I feel. In fact, it is very rarely how I feel. I lie to my friends, to the people I love, becuause I fear the truth will distroy them. And yet, my trust and faith in them is gone. All that remains is doubt and hurt.  
  
This is my story.  
  
- - - - - - - - -  
  
Chapter One: Hard and Cold  
  
Buffy Summers jumped off the top of a mausoleum and onto an unsuspecting vampire. It staggered back, and fell about ten feet away. Buffy grabbed her stake out of her jacket, but the vampire was quick. It kicked the stake out of her hand. It flew up in the air and it landed about fifty feet away from them. The vampire kicked Buffy in the head and she staggered a little, then advanced on her.  
  
Buffy blocked the vampire's punch with her left arm, and struck him across the face. He landed against a tree and Buffy pulled out her spair cross- bow. She shot it and the bolt hit him in the chest. The vampire fell down against the trunk of the tree and exploded into dust.  
  
Buffy walked over and picked up her stake. She shook her head and looked around the graveyard. She recalled the previous couple weeks with frustration. She remembered sitting at home, readjusting to life. She hated the world now. She hadn't before her death, but she did now.  
  
Buffy had died to protect the world, and save her sister's life. It had been a honorable death and a fitting end. However, after a few months of living without her her friends decided to take her out of her grave. They decided to take her life back, and the rest was history. Now, here she was.  
  
Everything in the world seemed cold, dark, and hard. The world had lost all its brightness after...that's not important. What is important is that she had to focus on the now. There was nothing she could do about the past. She just needed to keep herself busy and keep her mind off...never mind.  
  
Buffy walked down Revello drive, and into her house. She opened the door to find Willow and Dawn on the couch watching TV. "Hey." Buffy said, closing the door behiend her. They both looked up and smiled.  
  
Buffy walked up the stairs and heard the phone ring. When no one got it she walked down the hall and picked up the phone. "Hello." she said, leaning against the wall. She was getting tired, and expected to hear someone ask to sell her something. For some reason a lot of people had been doing that lately. Willow had joked that they new she was alive again, but realized that that wasn't funny and stopped saying it.  
  
"Buffy?" She froze. It was Angel.  
  
- - - - - - - - -  
  
"Angel?" Buffy felt as thought the all of her breath had escaped her body. She had been so busy thinking about other things to remember that Angel deserved to know. Still, she was absoluly shocked to hear his voice.  
  
"Oh my god." Angel replied. He seemed to be at a loss for words aswell. "It's true. I can't believe it. It's true. When did you get back?"  
  
"A few weeks ago."  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
Buffy frowned. She was confused. Angel was apologizing? Why? What did he do? "Why?" she asked. "Aren't you glad I'm back?"  
  
"No, that's not what I meant." Angel replied. He still had time to get himself out of the hole he had just dived into. "It's just...Buffy, you shouldn't be back. I don't know how you are, or why you are, but...you shouldn't be."  
  
"Thank god somebody other than me thinks so." Buffy began to cry silently, but still managed to speak through her tears. "I've been dying inside for weeks. Willow and Xander, and all the people I trusted took me away from the only place that I've ever been happy. And they expect me to live."  
  
"What'd you just say? Oh, god Buffy. You where in heaven weren't you?"  
  
"How did you-"  
  
"How could you be any where else?"  
  
Buffy wiped her eyes. That would have been the sweetest thing she'd ever heard if she wasn't so damn miserable. "I can't deal with this Angel." She shook her head and closed her eyes. Her whole body felt heavy. "When I was there, everything was bright, and warm, and I was so happy. Now I'm here and everything is cold and hard and dull. I can't deal with it."  
  
Angel sighed. He hated that Buffy was unhappy. He wanted to make it better. "Do You want me to come?" he asked.  
  
Buffy shook her head, and wiped her eyes again. She wanted to see hm so badly. "I don't think that's a good idea."  
  
"I don't care." Angel had definatly made up his mind. "I'm coming."  
  
Buffy sighed, and leaned against the wall, once again letting herself fall to the floor. The phone came with her. She closed her eyes tightly, knowing more tears would come if she didn't. She opened her eyes again and sighed. "Please hurry." she whispered.

Stay tuned for Chapter Two: Put the Blame Where it Belongs

P.S. : All feedback is greatly appricated : ) 


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